Sept 10 It came to me again last night, about two in the morning. I was in that half-awake state you get when waking out of a deep sleep. I could've rolled over and gotten back into my dream but I could feel it in my room again. I lifted my head off the pillow to search the room.

It's in a different place every night. The first night it perched on the back of my desk chair, its long thin legs folded up, knees level with its ears. I watched for hours but it never moved from its perch, just shuffled its feet or shifted its head. Tonight when I finally find it it's at the foot of my bed. All I can see is the top of its head, its wide, delicate ears fluttering in the breeze from my fan, its tiny black eyes peeking up at me over the edge of the mattress. You can see the eyes clearly even though they're small because it's so pale, and its eyes are black and reflective like marbles and the way they look into you...

It shifts slightly, one eye dipping below my mattress. It reaches an arm up, hand splaying out across my bedspread. It's grotesque, the long knobby fingers twice as long as the palm, dark veins faintly visible under translucent skin, looking like a giant six-legged spider lying in wait at the foot of my bed.

The hand twitches, begins to move, scrabbling around over my covers. It looks like it's searching for something. It's inches from my foot and I wanna jerk my leg back out of its reach or kick it away or something, but I'm frozen as I watch it get closer. Then I feel the little finger (although none of the fingers are little they're all freakishly long) graze my foot. It stops dead. Suddenly I can move again. I sit straight up in my bed with a half-choked yell but it's gone.

So that's what happened last night. I guess I should start keeping a record of it. I know what it sounds like, of course I did some research but this is NOT sleep paralysis, that thing is NOT a hallucination, I can feel it in the room with me, it can't just be in my head, I know no one is gonna believe me but its REAL

 

Sept 16 This time I was ready. I've been covering the floor with flour before I go to bed. Last night I heard it moving around my room. Every now and then it would come into view and I could see the top of its head bobbing around. When I checked this morning it left TRACKS, little six-toed footprints, the dark carpet showing through where its foot picked up the flour. I also found white flour smudges on my bedspread. It had climbed up next to me, crouched out of sight behind my back. I had no idea it was even back there.

 

Sept 19 I've been having trouble sleeping, even on the nights it doesn't come. I lie there feeling my eyelids get heavier, but as soon as they fall shut all I see is it and they spring open again. When it does come, I can't move, I can only lie there and scan the room for it. Lying on my back makes that easier, but it's not comfortable. I'm not getting a ton of sleep.

 

Sept 25 Every time I see it now it's pretty much right in my face. It squats right next to me, shuffling its feet and rubbing its hands together, long fingers sliding past and through each other, making small, jerky movements as it watches me sleep. I don't know what it wants. It just stares, its beady black marble eyes skittering over my body. It has a mouth, sort of, a slit in the pale white flesh of its face, the edges loose like hanging drapes. Every so often it sucks in a deep breath and its... lips, I guess, flutter in the inrush of air. I don't know what it wants...

 

Oct 5 I woke up frozen, twisted up, my chin tucked against one shoulder. I had a clear view of it running its finger down my back, head cocked to one side, ears twitching. I could barely feel the tip of its finger ghosting over me. It moved slowly, purposefully; it felt like it was appraising me. Then I watched it press its finger firmly into a spot on my back, felt a bite of shocking cold. A yelp ran up my throat only to dash itself impotently against my frozen lips. Then it daintily lowered a second finger and pinched.

It went on for hours. With one hand it would deliver a frigid shock of a pinch while the other searched my back for the next perfect spot. It got into quite a rhythm. I laid there, crying and aching, all the while hearing that whooshing rattling inhale.

 

Oct 6 Any illusions I had that this was all a dream were dispelled this morning. My back was killing me after the job it did. It looked horrific, but worse than it actually felt. My roommate Mark gasped when he saw it. I said I fell off my bike. What could I tell him? Not the truth.

 

Oct 16 Stayed up last night by any means necessary. I managed to stay awake through to my morning class which I fell asleep in. Professor sent me home, told me to get some rest. It doesn't come during the day...

Just woke up from my nap. Mark's worried. He invited me to a party he's going to tomorrow. I think he wants me to get out of the house. Well, if I'm not gonna sleep I might as well do it drunk right?

 

Oct 18 We left the house just before sunset. I felt anxiety fluttering in my stomach. Except for my classmates (and Mark) I haven't been around people lately. I'm running on a hefty sleep deficit. It's never shown up while I'm awake, or outside of my bedroom, but who knows. Great time to switch things up.

We arrived early. I had a drink, started to loosen up and have fun. For the first time in weeks I was thinking about something other than...it.

From across the room, this stranger caught my eye. He shot me a smile and made his way across the crowded room. I think I'd remember seeing him on campus; he was breathtakingly beautiful. His dark hair rested in tight curls against his brow, above rich brown eyes that shone with a hungry, friendly glow. He leaned in, shouting to be heard, his lips brushing my ear while he steadied himself, hand on my hip. He told me his name, Carlos, but I could barely hear him over the music and the roar tearing through my body. And then we danced. I melted into him, forgetting my upcoming midterms, my petty heartbreaks and letdowns, anything that wasn't here and now.

"Hey, want to get out of here?" I did very much.

Soon we were in my room together, alone. I was awkwardly trying to figure out how to segue into the next thing, when 

his lips were on mine and I could taste the vodka on his breath, or maybe it was from me, and

his hand was on my waist, slipping under my shirt, pulling me into him while he kissed my neck and

I was fumbling with his belt and he was laughing and I was laughing too and we tumbled onto my bed together, clothes raining to the floor, collecting into dark puddles. He didn't say anything when he saw my back, clouded with purple shadows, but he gently kissed me, laid his hand on my bruises. The chill of his hands was soothing. Afterwards he nestled his body into mine and fell asleep in my arms. The room was full of the scent of us, sweat and sex and alcohol. I dozed dreamily, inhaling him, the night, all of it.

I was awoken by a soft sound, movement by the window. I raised my head. It was staring at me from outside my window, head cocked to the side, mouth rippling, ears swaying. When it saw me it raised one elongated hand, pressed it to the window. It stared at me, black marble eyes fixed on mine. It looked imploring, begging me to let it in.

I buried my face in Carlos's hair, squeezed my eyes shut, breathed in his scent. He murmured in his sleep, snuggling in closer to me. I heard a steady tap... tap... tap... from outside. I told myself it was the rain, a tree branch, anything, and fell back asleep.

 

Oct 26 You probably want an update, it's been a while. I haven't seen either of them since. Carlos snuck out before I woke up, left me a note thanking me for a wonderful night. My bruises healed quickly, and my nights have been restful again. The only thing that's still bothering me is my window. We're on the third floor and it doesn't open all the way so I'm not sure how I'm gonna clean off that big greasy handprint outside.