It's the middle of July and I'm taking a walk around the block with my significant other. It's a hot day, just above 105°F, and it hadn't cooled down all that much by the evening, still hovering in the mid 90s. However, it was still much too hot indoors so we decided to take a walk outside.

 

The air is dry, I have a mild headache from the heat, and I feel lethargic from sitting at home all day, by all means this was a seemingly mediocre day, perhaps even a bad one. But then it happened, I say a stupid joke that makes both of us laugh and I turn to look at my lover's face. Her eyes, her smile—heck, everything about her is brimming with joy, and all of a sudden, nothing else matters. Not the mild inconveniences begotten by the heat, not my seemingly naive infatuation of her, not the uncertain future of our relationship. No, the only thing that matters right now is that I'm with her, and there's no place I'd rather be.

 

It was the best day of my life, the day I felt true love for the first time.

 

At the time of writing this I'm currently employed at Bath & Body Works and it's a company that drives the message of inclusivity pretty hard. So it came as a surprise to me that during pride month we didn't really do anything over the top, other than releasing a scent named "Love Always Wins". That phrase, although inconspicuous at first glance, really stuck with me though. The more I thought about it, the more I was mystified by it. How could such a simple phrase invoke such a profound feeling within me?

 

When I first heard the phrase "love always wins", I thought to myself, love always wins over what? The answer came to me both instantaneously and intuitively: Hate. Love will always win over hate. Think of moments that have made you hate someone in the past. Maybe you were cut off by some prick on the highway, maybe your professor gave you a bad grade for "no reason", or maybe you got unnecessarily (or some could argue, necessarily) mad at someone over a video game. Point being, in all of these situations, the hatred you felt for that person was probably very, very fleeting.

Now think of a time you were in love, do you notice the difference? It doesn't even have to be a romantic love, it can be a familial love or even a platonic love. There's just something about love that's... special. Special in a way that trumps all other emotions, especially hate.

 

I decided to gather insight on what others thought of the phrase. I asked my coworkers, "does love always win?" and every time I asked, I was met with a resounding "no". It was at this point that I realized how many young people have essentially lost faith in the power of love, mostly because they've gone through some form of heartbreak. And although I understand where they're coming from, as someone who's gone through many a situation, I think it comes off as a bit shortsighted to discount love, especially at our young age.

 

For those of you who have gone through a breakup or some form of unrequited love and have given up, I urge you to not do that just yet, or ever for that matter. You need to realize that other people are not the only beings capable of siphoning love to you. For us hopeless romantics, it can sometimes seem like nothing ever goes our way; or like we give more love than we receive—but to be honest—who cares?

I mean seriously, who cares? I wholeheartedly believe that the one love that matters above all else is self love, it is only after you start loving yourself that you can become a vessel to receive love from others. The first step to digging yourself out of the figurative grave of lost love is to stop relying on others to give it to you. Love yourself first, it is only then that you can indulge in the beauty of mutually assured connection. You are a receptacle of boundless love, why not try giving giving some to yourself?

My definition of true love is something that cannot be fully explained with words. It's not a romantic love, it's not a familial love, it's not even a platonic love, but something more—something that transcends labels—it is love in its purest form. I can't really explain what true love feels like, but I trust those who've experienced it know what I mean by it. What I define as true love is very much a form of qualia, and as such, I can try to describe how it feels, but unless you've actually felt it you won't really understand what I mean by it.

 

Although I probably won't be able to invoke that feeling of true love within you, what I can do is tell you to never give up in your search for it. Trust me, you'll know when you've found it. To whoever may need to hear it, don't give up on love, there's so much out there to receive and even more for you to give.

 

Even if you feel hopeless in your pursuit of love, keep loving. Even if it feels like no one ever puts in the effort to reciprocate your love, keep loving. Even if your love has been taken advantage of by those unworthy of possessing it, keep loving. Even if you feel like love doesn't exist, keep loving. Let yourself be the proof that it does.