you say one thing - yet it means another 
gaslighting me 
into thinking one thing 
when I know you've said another 
 
your tricks may work on others, but not me 
I must be smarter than you think 
and I'm so tired of not being free 
 
these chains are holding me down 
all my dreams - just out of reach 
these chains you put around 
they're tying me down, 
making me drown, 
I'm falling down 
 
I've gone numb, all the time 
sadness, pain sneak in from time to time 
they're all gone, all my thoughts 
swimming in my sorrow, yet saying I'm fine 
 
imagination that's what saves me, 
imagination that's what takes me 
out of this world, 
out of reality 
and helps me escape 
 
no one's going to save me now 
this isn't some fairytale 
they say family's important 
but why are you so toxic 
 
they're all blinded - they're your friends 
they'll believe you over a child who's gone crazy in her head 
 
but we'll rebel soon enough, 
I can feel it in my bones 
I can feel it in my soul 
I feel it when you yell 
 
and how will you react 
you always say we're rude, 
disrespectful, and immature 
 
then you ask me for my opinion 
ask me to tell you everything 
to lose myself in you 
 
but, how can I say all the things I never said 
they hurt, and want to escape 
fly free, but held down 
because I know they'll hurt you 
so I'll keep hurting myself 
silently, without you ever knowing 
 
you can't expect me to stay 
not when you yell but we have no voice 
silence is our best friend, yet enemy 
silence hurts yet feels so good 
just like my love for you